The Honorable Man

A youth decided that the people he most admired and who had achieved the greatest respect among his friends, colleagues and acquaintances were all considered persons of honor. The youth determined that he would become someone of honor. He was desirous of receiving the respect and regard that such persons received and thought that this would be well worth his attention to acting as honorable people did.

When he went off to college, he paid strict attention to the honor code that was established at the school. Whenever he noticed someone doing something that even appeared to violate the honor code, he would point out the misstep and note that it was ill-advised for persons to engage in such behaviors thus risking the loss of their personal honor. His attention on adherence to the code became a often commented upon aspect of his nature. It did not endear him to many of his contemporaries, but he was generally accepted nonetheless.

When the young man went out into the world to make his living and his mark, he found that it was less clear how to demonstrate his dedication to being an honorable person. He concluded that he would need to make sure that people understood that he was acting according to a code of honor that he considered imperative for anyone who expected to be considered honorable. As the years passed, he would often comment that his “code of honor required him to” do one thing or another.

Things were not easy for the man, it was often difficult to assess the situation and decide what the honorable thing to do was. But he worked his way through the problem each time and always arrived at the ‘honorable’ thing to do. There were times when others thought that he was too self-righteous, or too lacking in compassion, or too absolutely fixed on his rigid code without any consideration for other perspectives.

When he died, he found he could observe his friends and neighbors at his funeral. He was shocked to find that no one noted or commented upon him being a man of honor, and esteemed for living an honorable life. Instead, people spoke about how he was too concerned for how things looked or would appear to others. That he always concentrated on making sure that everything he did had the appearance of being honorable. But he was never able to accept the judgment of others as being equal to his own and perhaps honorable in their own right, or he did not show sympathy toward others when they did not live up to his standards or even their own, and he was just obsessed with this ‘honor code’ thing and couldn’t deal with life on its own terms. How could then not regard him as a respected honorable man?

A voice explained: “Honor is not gained from how you act, but from why you act. If you do what is right for society, help you friends and neighbors, are compassionate to those in need, and show respect to those who do likewise then you will be honored.”

                Honor is achieved by your actions, not by how you ‘act’.